Prompt 1 Sample Essay

College Admissions Essays:

The Common App. Prompt #1

 My Favorite


Out of the seven prompts you can chose from to write your application essay for The Common Application, I like the first one a lot. (UPDATE: As of 2017, you can now write about any topic you want. See new prompt #7.)

Prompt No. 1 is trying to “prompt” you to find and share a story that will reveal an important part of what makes you unique and special.

These are called personal essays, and they are what my entire blog is trying to help you learn to write!

In a nutshell, you write these types of essays in the first-person (I, me, you…point of view) and use a “write-like-you-talk” casual style.

Narrative-style (storytelling) essays are natural “grabbers” because you use mini-stories from real life, also called anecdotes, for your introduction to illustrate a larger point.

Related: How to Write an Anecdote: Part One

The structure can be as elaborate as you want, but in general, you “show” the reader your point with an anecdote at the beginning, and then “tell” or explain what it means in the second part. (Here’s a quickie guide to help you Write a College Application Essay in 3 Steps.)

(Those stiff, 5-paragraph essays from high school English class are history!)

Narrative, slice-of-life essays are ideal for almost any type of admissions essay. But some college application essay prompts are trickier than others to figure out how to answer the question by telling a story.

Others, however, are easier and actually ask for a story. Like Prompt No. 1. (and No. 2 and 4).

Here’s how to find and tell a story for Prompt #1:

Prompt 1 from Common App: “Some students have a background, identity, interest or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

1. FIND A TOPIC: First, see if you have something interesting in your “background or identity” or with an “interest or talent” that could make a great topic:

A. Background: I believe that if your “background” is central to your identity, it could involve anything in your life that shaped you.

If you’re a student who faced an intense issue growing up, this is your chance to share that—since it most likely was defining for you (shaped who you are in some way).

By an “intense issue,” I mean anything from a parent who was abusive, or alcoholic, or not on the scene for whatever reason, to having a personal issue of your own (you’re deaf, or wheelchair bound, or bi-polar, or the oldest of 10 kids, or you’re battling a debilitating illness…).

Your “background” also can be defining if you come from a different culture, or have a family who practices an extreme religion or other unusual belief system, or a unique family situation (you’re adopted, or your parents are lesbians, or your mom is blind, or you survive on food stamps, or your dad hosts a famous talk show, etc…).

I think the point is that if you have a background that has been challenging on some level, it most likely affected who you are, and what you value and how you approach your life. If this is the case, it could make an excellent college application essay. 

B. Identity: I would say if there’s something about you that defines you in a big way, this could be considered your identity. It really depends upon how you see yourself.

Here’s some that come to mind: You are any type of LGBTQ or any variation based on gender and sexual orientation. You are bi-racial. You were raised by your grandmother. You’re a triplet. You are the son of a celebrity.
I would say if you believe it’s shaped who you are on a fundamental basis, and you want to write about it, go for it!

C. Interest: I think this is self-explanatory. What is something you do that you are passionate about?

My advice is to pick something that is central to your life, and then find an interesting way to write about it. If you just spell out your “interest” in piano, talking about how you took lessons, gave recitals, love it so much, etc., that could be a dull, thumbs-down essay.

Instead, decide what specifically about the piano shaped you, and write about that. Or what personal quality or core value you developed from playing piano. Or was there something unexpected you learned from playing piano.

In general, I would be careful writing about an interest.

If you do go for it, find a way to write about that interest that reveals more about you than why you like to do it.

D. Talent: Same advice as with writing about an “interest.” Be careful!

A talent is really an interest that you are good at, right? Who wants to read about how you are really great at chess, or horseback riding or playing video games? Not me!

I would strongly advise you to not write about how good you are at something. The danger is that you come across as boastful or full of yourself, and that can be off-putting to college admissions folks. Remember, the goal is to be likable.

The best trick to writing about a talent is to think of “a time” it involved some type of problem (failure, challenge, obstacle, mistake, etc.). That can help you inject humility into your essay.

Of course, it’s possible to write a great essay about something you excel at, but give a lot of thought to what you have to say about it, and what your essay will say about you.

HOT TIP: One way to write about a tricky topic such as an interest or talent is to search for topics in the area of the everyday, or mundane.

Topics that are about impressive feats, like the time you climbed Mount Everest or saved someone’s life or won a gold medal, often backfire. Instead, the opposite–mundane or everyday topics or stories–work the best!

If you write about a talent, an essay about how you are the best at making tamales or tying fly fishing knots or cleaning cars would be much more palatable than how you play first-chair violin or won the state championship for cross country.

It is possible to write about impressive accomplishments, but you need to find the right angle or you risk coming across as all-important and not as likable.

2. FIND A STORY: Once you find a topic (and pick either something from your background, identity, interests or talents), try to find a compelling story or anecdote (a real-life moment) to start your essay that is an example of or illustrates the point you want to make about yourself.

To make sure it’s a compelling mini-story, make sure your anecdote involves a problem. (If you are writing about your background or identity, look for an example of how it was a problem on some level to use as your anecdote.)

This is also an approach that could bring some drama or a twist if you are writing about an interest or talent.) Not only does an anecdote work as a “grabber” for the reader, it sets you up to talk about how you dealt with the problematic moment and what you learned. (How to find a juicy problem HERE.)

3. CRAFT AN ANECDOTE: Tell your mini-story in the form of an anecdote. Just relate something that happened to you. Start at the peak of the action. This will be your introduction and take up the first paragraph or two.

Set the scene. Use descriptive language and concrete (specific) details. Include action verbs. Put us in that moment by describing what you saw, smelled, heard and felt. Include a snippet of dialogue, if it works.

RELATED: My Video Tutorial on How to Write an Anecdote: Part One

Condense your anecdote into a paragraph or two to use as your introduction. (How to write an anecdote HERE and HERE.)

4. TELL THE BACK STORY: Then give a little background (the “back story”) explaining what led up to that moment or event or problem, and then go on to describe how you felt about it, how you handled it, and what you learned in the process.

Make sure to find some way to express how what you learned linked to a defining quality—so that your essay has a sharp focus and doesn’t try to reveal too many different things about you.

5. WRAP IT UP: To write a conclusion, link back to that little moment you started with and bring the reader up to the present. Kind of like a status update. 

Share how you plan to use your defining quality or the lesson you learned in your future goals and dreams, especially if it relates to your educational goals.

Example of a Personal, Narrative-style Essay

The New York Times just happened to share several well-written college application essays in a recent story to inspire college-bound students like yourself.

I’m going to copy my favorite one below, by a student named Lyle Li, which used the narrative style of writing.

I will indicate where the writer used an anecdote (in red) to “show” his point, and then where he went on to “tell” explain what it meant to him (in blue).

This essay is excellent. I believe he addressed his “background” in this piece. He shows us the challenges his family has faced, and we learned what the student values, and why. In the process, he comes across as a very authentic, determined and likable guy.

I believe the main reason this worked so well is that he chose a mundane topic for his story (his mom’s restaurant job), as opposed to some impressive accomplishment. Can you see the “problem” he shared in this essay?

Last thing: notice how personal this student was in this essay and how he opened up about his thoughts, fears and dreams. The more personal an essay, the more it connects with the reader.

See what you think:

By Lyle Li, from Brooklyn
Essay Written for New York University

(ANECDOTE FOR INTRODUCTION: “Showing”)While resting comfortably in my air-conditioned bedroom one hot summer night, I received a phone call from my mom. She asked me softly, “Lyle, can you come down and clean up the restaurant?”

Slightly annoyed, I put on my sandals and proceeded downstairs. Mixing the hot water with cleaning detergents, I was ready to clean up the restaurant floor. Usually the process was painstakingly slow: I had to first empty a bucket full of dirty water, only to fill it up again with boiling water. But that night I made quick work and finished in five minutes. My mom, unsatisfied, snatched the mop from me and began to demonstrate the “proper way” to clean the floor. She demanded a redo. I complied, but she showed no signs of approval. As much as I wanted to erupt that night, I had good reasons to stay calm.

(NOTICE HOW HE BACKGROUNDS HIS ANECDOTE HERE)Growing up in rural China, my mom concerned herself not with what she would wear to school every day, but rather how she could provide for her family. While many of her classmates immediately joined the work force upon completing high school, my mom had other aspirations. She wanted to be a doctor. But when her college rejections arrived, my mother, despite being one of the strongest individuals I know, broke down. My grandparents urged her to pursue another year of education. She refused. Instead, she took up a modestly paying job as a teacher in order to lessen the financial burden on the family. Today, more than twenty years have passed, yet the walls of my parents’ bedroom still do not bear a framed college degree with the name “Tang Xiao Geng” on it.

(EXPLAINING WHAT THE ANECDOTE MEANT: “Telling”) In contrast, when I visit my friends, I see the names of elite institutions adorning the living room walls. I am conscious that these framed diplomas are testaments to the hard work and accomplishments of my friends’ parents and siblings. Nevertheless, the sight of them was an irritating reminder of the disparity between our households. I was not the upper middle class kid on Park Avenue. Truth be told, I am just some kid from Brooklyn.

Instead of diplomas and accolades, my parents’ room emits a smell from the restaurant uniforms they wear seven days a week, all year round. It’s funny how I never see my mom in makeup, expensive jeans, lavish dresses, or even just casual, everyday clothing that I often see other moms wearing. Yet, one must possess something extraordinary to be able to stand in front of a cash register for 19 years and do so with pride and determination.

On certain nights, I would come home sweaty, dressed in a gold button blazer and colored pants, unmistakable evidence of socializing. In contrast, my mom appears physically and emotionally worn-out from work. But, she still asks me about my day. Consumed by guilt, I find it hard to answer her.

Moments such as those challenge my criteria of what constitutes true success. My mother, despite never going to college, still managed to make a difference in my life. Tomorrow,she will put on her uniform with just as much dignity as a businesswoman would her power suit. What is her secret? She wholeheartedly believes that her son’s future is worth the investment. The outcome of my education will be vindication of that belief.

In hindsight, I’m astounded at the ease with which I can compose all my views of this amazing woman on a piece of paper, but lack the nerve to express my gratitude in conversations. Perhaps, actions will indeed speak louder than words. When I graduate on June 1st, I know she will buy a dress to honor the special occasion. When I toil through my college thesis, I know she will still be mopping the restaurant floor at 11:00 PM. When I finally hang up my diploma in my bedroom, I know she will be smiling.

(Mr. Li will be attending N.Y.U.)

Want to learn how to write an anecdote like the one Lyle Li crafted to start his compelling essay? Watch My Video Tutorial on How to Write an Anecdote: Part One

What about the other four Common App prompts? Find help for other Common App prompts.

Check out my tutorial video on How to Answer Common Application Prompt 4: When Your Problem is a Good Thing. (I like the new Prompt 4 as much as Prompt 1.)

For more inspiring sample college application essays, check out my collection of narrative essays: Heavenly Essays: 50 Narrative College Application Essays That Worked! 

Ready to start writing your own narrative essay? Check out my Jumpstart Guide to help you find a unique topic and start writing your own slice-of-life essay.

If you want more help, considering investing $9.98 in my short and simple ebook guide, Escape Essay Hell!, which takes you step-by-step through the entire brainstorming and writing process.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Check Out These Related Posts!

Writing Your Common Application Essay: How to Answer Prompt #1

Just about every spring, our email and voicemail inboxes get flooded with questions about the newly revised Common Application essay prompts. While summer break often means surfing the ocean waves or taking a family road trip, millions of high school scholars tackle their college admission essays. If you plan to write an effective essay, it’s time to familiarize yourself with each of the types of essay prompts. The common application essays include seven options, with three revisions and two all-new topics. No matter your essay topic of choice, it’s time to rethink your approach to conquering this summer’s essay challenge.

In this installment of our series on Writing the New Common Application Essay, we’ll look at prompt #1 (if you’re not a fan of the first prompt, check out our thoughts on prompt #2, prompt #3, prompt #4, prompt #5, prompt #6, and prompt #7):

 

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Prompt #1 asks students to tell their stories, and rightfully so. It gives you the chance to figuratively bring your application to life. After all, there’s much more to you than your GPA, activity list, test score, and a few recommendations. This prompt is focused on diversity; the committee wants to know more about what makes you unique, your life’s passion and even how you define yourself in your community and in society as a whole. We’re looking for you to share how your background has shaped who you are today. We want to be inspired by your hobbies, creativity and even discovery of hidden talents. While it might seem that this prompt calls for some lofty language and larger-than-life experiences, there’s one simple thing that can make your essay stand out from the rest… substance. Committees want to know what’s meaningful to you, and how these meanings might fit into their next class of scholars. Your mission—should you choose to accept it—is to write your most genuine narrative yet. Here are the top 5 questions you should ask yourself when mind-mapping prompt #1:

1) What makes you different from everyone else? – Think about things that make you special and separate you from the typical student. For example, an admitted applicant wrote about how his uncanny rhyming ability inspired him to start monthly open-mic poetry nights at his high school. This not only showed the committee initiative and leadership, but they were sold that he would be a rare addition to the college’s English and Linguistics program.

2) What are you most passionate about? – While this question is often labeled as one of the most popular in an admission interview, it’s time to revisit your passions through a story-telling lens. A student once recounted the story of repairing his grandfather’s antique television set, revealing his passion for technology, history and family. In all your brainstorming, decide on what your passions really say about you.

3) What’s most important to you? – This question goes much deeper than what makes you unique or even your passions. The committee wants to know what you value. Jot down important isms in your life. These could be words like naturalism, individualism, freedomism, etc. Reflect on these isms and categorize them into life situations and experiences you’ve had. What makes these values so powerful to you, others and the world around you?

3) Can you imagine your life in a picture? – Rather than scribbling every word that comes to mind, it may be time to sift through the old photos (whether dust-covered scrapbooks or Facebook albums) that could represent your life in a snap shot. What story do these pictures tell? An admitted applicant penned the story of how she found comfort after a close-family loss through teaching middle schoolers how to snowboard. She paired her love for the mountains and educating students with vivid adjectives as imagery and ultimately captured the hearts of the admissions committee. Just as pictures are worth a thousand words, use your writing to show who you are rather than bogging your audience down with a list of likes and interests.

5) What will your meaningful life-story bring to the prospective college community? – This is by far the question left most unanswered by students writing for all prompts. While committees are excited to get to know you better, don’t miss the focus of the entire application process – to earn a sport in the incoming class. Never leave the admissions committee hanging. Take the guessing game out of the conclusion of the essay and tell the reader how what you shared connects to your goal of being admitted into to their institution. For example…How could you use your athletic talents to contribute to both the collegiate sports and local service programs? How does your diverse, multilingual background fit into the college’s commitment to global scholarship? Answering this question takes a good amount of time and research. It may prove the toughest, but will make your essay a delightfully-worthwhile read.


Along with using these tips to jump-start your journey to acing the new Common Application Essay prompts, it’s most important to start your essays as early as possible. If you’re considering hiring an expert to guide you through the process, Veritas Prep offers hourly and school packages convenient for high school students on the go. Take a look at our FAQ page to find out more information about our college-admission consulting services, or give us a call or email to let us know how we can help you conquer the college application essay!

0 Replies to “Prompt 1 Sample Essay”

Lascia un Commento

L'indirizzo email non verrà pubblicato. I campi obbligatori sono contrassegnati *